Xegwens Application

Char Basic Information:
Race: Blood Elf.
Age: 40 Azeroth years.
Gender: Female.
Class: Death Knight (speced blood).
Civilian status: Single.
Heigth: 5,5ft.
Weigth: 120Ibs.
Hair color: White.
Eye color: deep blue.

Char Background:
Xegwen was born in silvermoon as Meira Correia daugther to a pair of little known rangers of Silvermoon she was taugt at a earlie age how to defend her self against the dangers of life, when she became 20 she herself became a Ranger of silvermoon city just like her parents before, in those years she helped her people fight of the forrest troll of the Amani tribes as the war started, later on when the Orcish Horde attack the kingdoms of men she was shiped out to help in the war like so many other Elfs were here she won herself and her family great honor by safeing a whole battalion of human and dwarven soldiers from being ambused by a horde raid party of Ogres and trolls. after this heroic act Xegwen was put under the command of Ranger General Silvanas Windrunner and toggeter with her and many others of her people tried to keep Arthas from getting to the Sunwell, but as she and the others failed, Meira lost everything both of her parents were killed during the attack and her beloved people had lost their immortality, she then went out on a quest to better her fighting ablilyties so she could get her revenge, but when she heard the Alliance had betrayed her people to she went back to support Keal'thas and the others as they fled to Outland to seek an end to the magic hunger that had grown in her race after the loss of the sun well, in outland she helped the prince free Illadin the betrayer and liberate the fortress known as the black temple before Kil'jaeden once again found Illadin again and they were sent to Northrend to defeat the lich king, as they got to Northrend Meira got lost from the rest of the attack Party under a small nerubian raid at their camp, for days she wandered the frozen wastelands and unknown to her the battle of icecrown was won by Arthas the very man she had sworn to kill, as she continued to wander in Northrend she finaly found her way to the field were the battle had took place but found it anything but welcoming blood flowing every where still and undead figures roaming everywhere too, she then suddenly felt a cold grip on her shoulder and when she looked up scared sensless she looked into the eyes of the reborn Lich King Arthas "my my seems the clean up crew didn't do their job" Arthas had said cold as Meira had pulled back and drawn her Sword charging the mighty undead warrior and rule "you fight well Elf but I have already bested your demon master" Arthas had said in the middel of the battle and stabbed Frostmourn through her he had then kneeled down besides her and whispered into her ear "I have use for warriors like you Elf you shall become one of my new knights" he had said and held Frostmourn over her dieing body granting her the powers of and over the undead "I name you lady Xegwen death knight of the scouge" Arthas had said and motioned her to follow him back to Icecrown where many others waited also victims of the battle for Icecrown who some how had made an impression on their new king, in the years after her turning Xegwen as she was now named was dedicated to hunting down the human zealots of the scarlet crusaders and the traitors in the plague lands, as so many others of the new death knight order under Arthas Xegwen to was there for the final battle in the eastern kingdoms against the Scarlet crusade and as all the others she to was there to hear her master bretay her and the other knights, now she follow the wise instructions of the Ebon Blades master and once again have dedicated her weapons to the one now known as the Dark Lady Sylvanas.

Abit About Me:
im 20-years-old live in Denmark with my parents and younger siblings, I have been role playing since I was ten were I started playing pen and paper then when on to Forum rps and then ended up RP in second life in the Star wars RP society, and now im ready to see how WOW RP is and if its something I can enjoy when not trying to find a little raid or something like that, im a very happy and social girl who loves to RP and all in all I just hope to have fun with you guys should I get approved seeming as I like the plot of this guilds RP.

I'm no officer of any sort, just side-note's from me here ^^

Azeroth Years is said as "Human-Years". ^^
Frostmourne* With the E in the end.
I wont speak my mind of your background story, I like that it's long and you really tried here
But It's Kedran & Neshkors call. Await their Reply.

Good Luck!

Before I start my usual moanings, 40 years is Quite young for a blood elf, for their standards I think it's little over the age of an infant child. However I'm not master at elven commons, so this I'll leave unnoticed.
Larger and more common to find problem:
Blood Elves didn't lose their immortality when the Sunwell was destroyed, they lost much strength in magic and would grow addicted to using magic, because the Sunwell could no longer support that hunger.


Now! On with the actual review, that's just minor details ment to make me look important and whatnot.

With few misreads here and there, I think it'sa very decent background story, I've read and heard tales of plenty of elves now, but none revealed actual information about following Kael'thas and dying during his attack, a detail I fancy personally. On the negative side, interaction (especially quoting) with a lore character the size of Arthas, warchief Thrall or alike is something I regret seeing, as you somewhat force another player to see details as in your eyes.
When I focus on the writing concerning Arthas, my personal interpetation of the Frozen Throne is that after he donned the helmet he never left the Frozen Throne until he arose to ressurect the frostwyrm Sindragosa, as his rule over the Scourge was described as a "slumber", his armour in the cinematic frozen over. (This is an interpetation of my own, and an example how you change a (possibly later revealed) fact concerning the Lich King

I'm curious however on your roleplaying since you do hold many existing lore facts and you seem quite the experienced roleplayer.

Your turn, Kedran.

Where to start?

I can say with sense of security that there aren't any major lore mistakes in it but you interacted with Arthas in a way that ensured you made -him- move, you forced -his- actions, I can justify seeing him at an event (Say his return to the capital of Lordaeron prior to killing his father, with you being a spectator) but this way of interaction, if my example can even be called interaction is not good, it's a clear negative and something I hate seeing people do. (Rule of the thumb: Blizzard forces the moves of major lore characters, not the players.)

Quote :

as all the others she to was there to hear her master bretay her and the other knights, now she follow the wise instructions of the Ebon Blades master and once again have dedicated her weapons to the one now known as the Dark Lady Sylvanas.

This touches a sensitive spot with me, I can't say it's a mistake in the lore to serve Sylvanas but there are also no precedents in the lore of serving her, a Blood Elf, whether alive or not, should (in my eyes) serve Quel'thalas, the Death Knights who were once Elves should A) Serve only Mograine. Or B) Have a hidden agenda of serving Quel'thalas, there is little in it for a Blood Elf to serve Sylvanas and I can't think of any motivation myself. You may be thinking, "But what about those Blood Elven archer model thingies in Northrend?" They're Forsaken, period. They're not Blood Elves in the service of the Dark Lady, they're as Forsaken as she is.
I'm willing to discuss this point further if (any of) you disagree.

Now for the writing of the story itself: The story is, unfortunately, little more than a history recital, with a minimum amount of showing the character him- or herself, there is not a lot of interaction (unfortunately the interaction there is, is with Arthas, which I outlined above). The story simply doesn't show a lot of the character except for his background, I don't get the feeling that I want to get, I don't get any motivations. I don't get any sense of a personality. I don't see a person, I see an account of happenings. (This doesn't mean I dislike the history of persons, mind you, in my opinion they allow for little to shine through of the person self, a story of a certain event, how it unfolded is something I like to see, it gives more of a sense of personality than these things do.)

I got to say there are quite a bit of spelling mistakes too, but they shouldn't, and won't play a role in my decision.
As Nesh said, you seem to have a decent grip on lore, which is nice to see.

Going back to the story, I can't say I'm excited about it but I can't say that I am utterly disgusted by it either, it's more than the 'stories' some have posted, now mind you a story also doesn't need to be long, the most beautiful story can be told in a hundred words (You used 661 words, yes, I checked. ) while the most boring story can be told in a thousand words, on a sidenote, people may flame me for my remark about the other applications all they like.

I'm also (perhaps unfortunately) drawing a line in the sand here and state that you may have potential but Nesh needs to see it.

I see both of your points and will start by saying sorry I was just under the impression that the knights were all found by the lich king him self but after reading the Ashbringer comics to an end I have seen that is not the case, as for my Elf only being 40 that is young but as far I have heard not still infant age from what I have heard warcraft Elfs are loosely based on Tolkiens elfs lifespand ways and a 40-year-old Elf would therefor just be a very young adult but as far as I have heard they already step into adulthood at the same age as humans but this might not be true and I am willing to change the age if need be, but back to the story if you want me to i can rewrite it in more of the shape you desribed in your posts more action based and no Arthas or other importante lore beasts as for my Role play well I can try writing a normal RP praragraph here now.

Xegwen looked around as she entered the ruined keep wondering what sort of foul creations this necromancer could have hidden down here in all these year "hello anybody there!" she yelled waiting for any reply axe in hand ready to slay whatever scouge freaks might have awaited her.

as for my Character going back to swearing alligiance to Lady Sylvanas is more a twist of me being a big fan of the lore behind the dark lady of the forsaken and I can therefor easily see your point and will just change it to serving the Ebon blades.

I'll add to this, since I know a bit of Elven aging.

Blood Elves, according to the official forums and wowwiki, reach adulthood aged 60. I guess 40 is possible, although still too young in my eyes to be a fully trained Death Knight. Not a clue about how elves develop, although I imagine a forty year old elf to be barely into the equivalent of human teen years (If even that old, going mathematically, approx. Human age 10 to 11), quite incapable of using a weapon to any real extent.

I won't comment much on your character story, if I'm honest Cyaska's character has changed alot since I joined TEH (Edit this, lorefix that) but I have to agree with the others, although some Blood Elves are minorly loyal to Sylvanas, they would never put her as she is now before Silvermoon and Quel'Thalas, or as a free Death Knight, before the Ebon Blade. (Unless your character is a bit on the odd side, although I only see that applying to Death Knights who see themself returning to the status they had when they were alive, and even then, would put them as more loyal to Silvermoon than Sylvanas, as the living elves).

To add my somewhat insignificant opinion, I stand with Kedran on this one.

I see these problems and will renew my Applicantion sometime tomorow when I stop being lazy and trying to ind RP gear in game

Cyaska has gone extremly harcore, ;o
You're worse than Kedran!