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 Avéon's Application

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PostSubject: Avéon's Application   Avéon's Application EmptyThu Feb 26, 2009 11:46 pm

Avéon's story before he became a Death Knight.

[Before Avéon was born]
In the north of Eastern Kingdoms, a general of Silvermoon City and his Blood Knights went out, without permission to stop the scourge from approaching the city by removing their forces in Deatholme. But things didn’t exactly go as it was meant to. The blood knights were outnumbered and lost a terrible defeat against the scourge. The general returned to Silvermoon City with the news of the lost of his men. Lor’themar wasn’t pleased about that. He excommunicated the general from the city to the Eastern Lordaeron and his family as well.

The man was broken. Through Eversong Woods and the Ghostlands, he could see the Dead scar and the new scourge approaching toward Silvermoon City. But he hadn’t give up his fight. When he finely arrived to Eastern Lordaeron, he saw no other options than to go up in the mountains in the north, to seek protection from the scourge. However luckily he succeeds to find a small town in the mountains. Suddenly there was hope for the family. They build up a house and got a son not long time after. They started a whole new life.
________________________________________________________________________________

Avéon grew up in the small town with his best friend Hikari there was about the same age as himself. Since his family got excommunicated from Silvermoon City, Hikari’s family took good care of them before Avéon was born. This meant that Avéon and Hikari always were together, unless Avéon had to train with his father. They found it really fun to run around in the town, hiding from their parents and does all the other stuff they weren’t allowed to of course, like normal children do. However, when Avéon had to train, he wasn’t allowed to be together with Hikari. His father had great plans with him. He wanted him to be a Blood Knight, actually Avéon found it quite interesting himself.


Many years past and in the beginning of his teenager years a terrible thing happened. Avéon’s father went out in the fields of Eastern Lordaeron to collect some pieces of wood, since it was close to the winter season. But the sun went down and there were still no tracks of him at all. The family feared that the worst have happened and the scourge took him. Days went past and the family gave up the hope. He couldn’t possibly survive out there without any food, water or protection. Anger rose inside Avéon, anger to the scourge. Though there wasn’t much to do, he started to train even harder in hope that he’d be strong enough to fight the scourge someday.

Avéon grew older and the small town seemed to become boring, there was nothing to do and he was as strong as he could be, he needed no more training. He was ready to leave the town and make his own adventure. But not alone, he wanted Hikari to come with him to the south of Eastern Lordaeron, maybe even further. Hikari was more than happy as he asked her, but she wasn’t allowed to go for her father. So she sneaked out that night, where they were suppose to leave the town. They started to walk toward south Avéon leading the way and Hikari right after. Actually he didn’t know where they were going. Hours went past and still there wasn’t anything around them than forest. Was this really the big adventure, lost in a forest?

Suddenly there was a different nature around them. The trees weren’t like the others. These trees were dead. In the far distance, Avéon was able to see a big castle and around it the dead trees. “What is this” he thought. Was it really the scourge? Maybe Humans... Who knows? They carefully moved closer to the castle and as they were standing right in front of the wall, He could see that it seemed to be an old castle, a human castle. Both Hikari and Avéon hesitated about entering the big castle, but in the end, they did. They went into the streets of the castle, but were no one to see, but there was an awful smell of rotten bodies. They continued slightly, they actually more hoped that the castle was empty than with people inside of it. Suddenly Avéon could hear some yells and steel smashing into steel. It sounded like a battle, Avéon freezed slightly and Hikari aswell. “Do you hear that?” He asked her with a frightened voice. She nodded carefully and they went a bit further, carefully and very slowly. As they turned around a corner, to their horrified eyes they saw both humans and scourge fighting each other. Without thinking Avéon yelled to Hikari “Run!!!” Which the scourge heard and as they looked at them, seeing they weren’t scourge, they went right toward them. Both Avéon and Hikari started to run for their lives toward the exit. Luckily they succeeded to come out alive, though they didn’t stop running. They ran into away from the castle and inside the forest, suddenly Avéon saw something. It wasn’t the scourge, but to a surprise it was Kazuai, Hikari’s little sister running the same way as they did, she must have followed them he thought and kept running. As they came far inside the forest. They stopped and were standing close to each other as the adrenalin was pumped in their bodies, their breath was fast and they were all listens, hoped that the scourge hadn’t followed them. Sometime after, they realized the scourge hasn’t followed them, so they slowly calmed down. The sun was going down so they had to stay there during the night.

Kazuai fast felt asleep while Avéon and Hikari were awake. They went to take a walk and would be back before Kazuai became awake. They went through a cave. There was a peaceful silence, stars on the heaven and they were completely alone. Hikari sat down on a fallen tree and Avéon did the same and sat close to each other. Avéon got a strange feeling in his stomach, not a bad feeling. He smiled at Hikari and stroked her cheek carefully, looking straight into her eyes and she did the same. But suddenly small whispers could be heard all around them. He quickly stood up, peering to the sides as the whispers was getting even louder. He moved close to Hikari and mumbled a small sentence for himself as his hands suddenly started to glow and light up the area around them.

To their horrified eyes, they were almost surrounded by Death knights. Avéon slowly moved his hand down to his belt. But suddenly he remembered that he placed all his armor and his weapon at the camp in the forest. There was no escape, they had to fight. Suddenly Kazuai came running from the direction of the cave and stopped between them, standing really close to Hikari, she appeared to be really scared, which they all were. The Death Knights moved closer as the three moved even closer to each other. Avéon suddenly yelled to Hikari to get away and get Kazuai to safety, as he then made some strange kind of waves with the hands and a wave of holy light went through the ground and toward the Death Knights. They quickly jumped back, moving away from the three. During that time, Hikari took Kazuai and ran. Now Avéon was all alone, in front him there was standing several Death Knights. He counted the Death Knights, there all had draw their swords. “9” He quietly said to himself and prepared another wave of holy light, it was easy to see that he was scared, but he had to fight. The Death Knights was standing on distance waiting for a chance to strike Avéon.

The same moment one of the Death Knights suddenly jump toward Avéon and aims a strike toward his chest. Avéon shoot another wave of the holy light toward the Death knight. As the Death Knight got hit, he get knocked back, landing hard on the ground and wasn’t moving. Apparently he was unconscious. Suddenly Hikari came back, taking up the fight as well. But just as she does, two of the Death Knights charged toward Avéon. As they do so, Avéon hand starts to glow again as he create a ball of holy light and throw it toward one of the attacking Death Knights, knocking him back into a tree. During that time the other one strike toward Avéon as a shield of holy light suddenly appears in front of Avéon’s skin, blocking the strike. But just as he’s trying to focus on another spell, another attack comes up, this time from behind. Thrusting the blade into Avéon’s back. He screams in pain as it happens and fall down on he’s knees, gasping for air as he then falls to the ground lying all still, feeling the cold ground. The last thing he hears is Hikari screaming his name. Suddenly it all became dark.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Know there's quite some spelling mistakes. But I hope it's okay.

You'd might find some small details about Aveon in Hikari's application.
However. Aveon is against the lich king and his servants. He's not a really violent person though he can fight.
He would always try to help if anything is bothering his friends & he doesn't seek troubles with anyone, tries to stay neutral.

OOC info:

Name: Flemming, You'd probably know me more as Naunlar.
Age: 14
Been playing Rp: In two years only on Defias Brotherhood & Earthen Ring
Location: Denmark
How good is your Rp: Well, uhm... I guess I'm quite good, but would let other judge that. (You could ask Paraquiero, Arthos or Thálindor since they've been Rp'ing a lot with me)

Hope to get accepted & to see ya' in the future tongue
If there's anything else you'd like to know, you can just ask geek Over and out!
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Hikari

Hikari


Posts : 13
Join date : 2009-02-24
Age : 29

Avéon's Application Empty
PostSubject: Re: Avéon's Application   Avéon's Application EmptyThu Feb 26, 2009 11:51 pm

Lovely story, nice fill-up on my own story, and in my oppinion, you should be accepted.

I've been RPing with Flame a lot, and he's really really good =3.. I've been doing that for about a year now, I think. Perhaps more.
So my oppinion in very very short: He's a real good RPer. ;3 Although I'm new in this guild, I can judge very well. *Nod nod*

I really hope he'll get accepted. ;o

*Hugs Flame* [whispers] Godt gjort, Flame =3..
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Vargosh

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Posts : 247
Join date : 2009-01-28
Age : 31
Location : Sweden

Avéon's Application Empty
PostSubject: Re: Avéon's Application   Avéon's Application EmptyFri Feb 27, 2009 12:59 am

Yes Naun is an awsome roleplayer and the text well written but seriously your character is like 6 years old O.o?


The Scourge invasion took place around 7 years ago present wow, kindaish.

The Blood Knights were formed months after Kael'Thas departue with the naga to outland.

At this point the Scourge wasn't that much ofa threat in Quel'Thalas.. Dar'khan would grow to be one.

If your cahracters father were fighting the Scourge in Deatholme with Blood Knights and THEN got a new life in EL

Your character should be 4 years-ish even.

No offense tho, just lore.
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PostSubject: Re: Avéon's Application   Avéon's Application EmptyFri Feb 27, 2009 11:40 am

Yeah, I see what you mean. My knowledge to the lore ain't good.

Any place where I can read about it and maybe get another chance? ^^;;
I haven't used the Background yet IC'ly, so hope so.
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Neshkor
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Posts : 312
Join date : 2008-11-29
Age : 32
Location : Netherrealm... Or lands.

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PostSubject: Review   Avéon's Application EmptyFri Feb 27, 2009 2:39 pm

The Blood Knight Order was a new generation of the existing Paladin order combined with soldiers granted the powers of holy through the stolen Naaru, from a storytellers-point-of-view it could be named simpy "Blood Knights" referring to the former paladin generation, so a fuss regarding that won't be made.

Also I find the arguments of lore a little overdone, Scourge was present in the Dead Scar and all of Quel'thalas after the destruction of the Sunwell, only not at it's best lead until Dar'khan came, Deatholme wasn't created until years after the destruction of the Sunwell, but I don't recall that fortress mentioned in the story.

However, a six year old boy turning into a Death Knight after playing in the woods with Híkari isn't of much worth to The Ebon Hold, "We're bigger than you, we're higher in the food chain!"

If you can post a redo of the first parts of the story to age him to a more capable age, at least a young adult, then I would gladly take you for an interview.

I'll check every evening for updates, saturday evening I'll have the time for a possible interview.
On WoWWiki you may find valuable information, but it won't be much required.
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Kedran Vaultrine
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Kedran Vaultrine


Posts : 262
Join date : 2008-11-29
Age : 31
Location : High in the sky, or in the van outside Nemy's house.

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PostSubject: Re: Avéon's Application   Avéon's Application EmptyFri Feb 27, 2009 5:50 pm

Aye just echoing what Nesh said here and saying hi.

As Nesh said: Correct the timeline issues, and we'll gladly have you for an interview.

On a side note: Hi, Cerrania here, did you think I was gone? :p
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PostSubject: Second try.   Avéon's Application EmptySat Feb 28, 2009 6:01 pm

[Before Avéon was born]
In the north of Eastern Kingdoms, a general of Silvermoon City and his paladins went out, without permission to stop the trolls from building an army that could destroy Silvermoon city. They went inside the west side of the Tor’Watha and attempted to slaughter the trolls. But everything went wrong. The trolls had a lot more units than the general, they were outnumbered. The general lost a terrible defeat, not even half of the group survived, though they were trained to fight, they didn’t have a chance. The general returned to Silvermoon City with the news of his lost men. Lor’themer weren’t pleased. He excommunicated the general from Silvermoon City. The man was broken. He didn’t know where to go. But he had to find a home to his family. His cousin told him about a small town in the North Mountains of Lordaeron. He saw no other options and went there with his family. Not long time after that they had a son and began a whole new life. They named him Avéon.
___________________________________________________

Hope this was what you wanted. Unless you wanted me to change some other facts in the story ^^;;

& 'Ello Cerrania, long time no see, eh? Razz Nice to see you again
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Kedran Vaultrine
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Join date : 2008-11-29
Age : 31
Location : High in the sky, or in the van outside Nemy's house.

Avéon's Application Empty
PostSubject: Re: Avéon's Application   Avéon's Application EmptySat Feb 28, 2009 8:33 pm

Aye, long time no see indeed.

Now, let's take a look at this rewritten part of the application:

All seems fine and dandy to me except for the fact that Lor'themar wasn't in control of Quel'thalas at that point in time, he was the 2nd in command to Sylvanas Windrunner, and thus couldn't excommunicate someone, so to speak.

A very minor detail to be honest, and he could've merely given the order to the father of Aveón to leave after he (lor'themar) got the order from someone higher up in the chain of command (Say, Sylvanas or King Anasterian) so not really an issue in my mind.

If Nesh doesn't voice any objections any more then I'd like it if you contacted us for an interview..


Last edited by Kedran Vaultrine on Sat Feb 28, 2009 10:04 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: Avéon's Application   Avéon's Application EmptySat Feb 28, 2009 8:38 pm

Ah... I see ^^ Well I hope that it's fine then if I change that detail?

*Looks at Nesh with puppy eyes* you can't find any mistakes, can you?
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Neshkor
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Age : 32
Location : Netherrealm... Or lands.

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PostSubject: Humdidum   Avéon's Application EmptySat Feb 28, 2009 9:26 pm

Indeed Lor'themar wasn't the head, but you don't have to be the highest chief in order to make decisions, a chief executive officer makes the highest decisions for the company, and his lower workers can decide over the minor things within the group, as such, Lor'themar could have decided over the fate of his father, or been given the order to make it so.

Good and peachy to me! Please contact Kedran or myself in-game for your interview.
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